


Thinking of You

by Spring_Haze



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Dan Howell, 2009 Era (Phandom), 2009 Phil Lester, Budding Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27220825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spring_Haze/pseuds/Spring_Haze
Summary: Dan and Phil have been flirtatious during their late-night conversations. One night, they find themselves wanting so badly that they give into both their bodies and eventually their secrets.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Kudos: 57





	Thinking of You

Phil swallows around the thick lump in his throat as he wraps his cool hand around his hot, throbbing flesh at last. It feels so good, the contrast. He’s been holding out for hours now, and this won’t take long. There’s no need for lube; he’s been leaking in his pants for some time now. If they hadn’t said goodnight when they had, he may have had no choice but to relieve himself beneath the blankets as inconspicuously as possible. And he wonders, as his toes curl with pleasure, if Dan found himself in exactly the same predicament.

_Dan is so gorgeous. He’s so hot. Fuck._

His other hand comes up to rest over his chest, and he’s rubbing generous circles into the fine hair that grows in the center. He imagines that it’s Dan’s hand exploring him and his fingertips come to the edge of his dusky nipple. _What Dan would think of his bare chest? Would he like the sparse hair? Would he finger it? Tug it? Bury his face in it?_ His right hand moves faster now, and Jesus Christ, he’s not going to last long tonight. The thought of having Dan in his bed is simply too much.

* * *

Dan is thankful that he is the only one in his house that keeps these hours. He’s mostly nocturnal, and this works out really well with the late-night Skype calls to Phil. He’s squirming beneath his bedsheets now, kicking at the tangled mess at his feet. His body is so hot, and he needs to be free. His heart is pounding, he can feel it under the flat of his sweaty palm as he shoves his left hand down the front of his shorts.

_Finally. Fuck._

His belly aches with the hours he held back. The heat is rising quickly and pooling between his ribs. He imagines that it’s Phil’s long fingers wrapped around his cock now instead of his own. _Phil’s pale, long, pretty fingers._

He’s so in love with Phil already. The man drives him wild. It doesn’t matter if they are talking about music, their favorite way to eat sushi, or how they like to be kissed – Dan is turned on by him. It’s the way his eyes light up and take him far away. It’s the way his lips snarl and curl into a sexy smirk. It’s the way his voice goes low and natural just for him - a stark deviation from his online persona.

Dan thinks about what Phil looks like naked as he splays his own body out over the crumpled bedding. He’s touching his lower belly, making gentle sweeping motions under his navel and then applying the slightest pressure. He’s pressing his lips together and dreaming of Phil’s hot breath over his ear, on his neck, across his lips. Heat rushes to the surface of his skin and for a moment he feels lightheaded laying still. All the blood in his body has gone directly to the cock in his hand.

* * *

Phil’s breathing is loud and ragged as he pushes his body closer and closer toward release. He thinks about how Dan’s eyes had gone dark and gorgeous when he first broached the subject of sex. His cheeks filled with a healthy, sexy color and his lips appeared even pinker and more kissable as he listened to Phil’s accounting of his one and only sexual experience at university. There was piqued interest on Dan’s part, but also a bit of noted jealousy, and it made his insides feel tingly.

His balls feel like they’re vibrating against the side of his hand each and every time it slides downward. He has to pause here and hold himself tightly at his base. As much as he needs to release, he also wants to enjoy the sensations as they come. He imagines Dan’s large hands around him, holding him, stroking him. He dares not to think of the boy’s mouth. His lovely, lovely mouth.

_Oh, fuck._

His eyes squeeze shut and his nose crinkles up. He lets out a shaky breath and brings the index and middle fingers of his left hand up to his lips. Here, he moves his lips softly, carefully, and slips them inside his hot, wet mouth. Phil begins to suck, and his right hand once again begins to move. He’s even wetter now. He can feel the way his cock glides more freely in his right hand.

_God, it’s so good. It would be even better with Dan._

Although he hasn’t seen Dan completely naked, he knows that he is beautiful and perfect in every way. He imagines now, with three fingers stretching his lips, Dan’s gorgeous, thick cock. For some reason, he suspects a small, dark tuft of hair around his base and then maybe none at all. He swallows around his fingers, aching to know for sure. Then, he lets go of his cock and brings his right hand to his nose, where he can smell himself – his own warm, musky scent between his fingertips. It’s heady and strong, and he imagines that Dan smells the very same way. He bites down on the fingers that he’s now gently pumping in and out of his mouth and stifles a moan.

* * *

Dan reaches down between his legs and takes his cock in his left hand. The skin is so hot and tight, stretched to the max. He starts to stoke himself, but his mind is all over the place. In his mind, Phil is _everywhere_. He is pushing his head into the tuck of his neck, breathing hotly over his most sensitive skin. He’s exploring his bare chest with his big hands; they’re slow and feeling, stopping only to grip him a little tighter, and he’s on to other conquests. Phil’s pushing his nose into the soft flesh below his rib cage. His hands are at his hips, gripping and releasing, gripping and holding steady.

_Jesus fuck. It feels so good to touch. It feels even better to imagine._

He parts his thighs as he picks up his pace and feels the cooler air of the room hit him in all the right places. He’s so hot that he can feel the way his cheeks burn like a fever. His mouth’s gone dry, and if he were to utter a sound, it would come out just as broken and wrecked as he feels right now. Dan wonders how Phil sounds when he feels this good, and the thought makes his hand move even faster. His balls draw tightly up against his flushed body and begin to tingle from the inside out.

His lips pull inward, his eyes close tightly, and then he relaxes his face completely. God, he would give anything to have his hand moving over _Phil,_ to have Phil’s hand moving over him. It’s too much, and it’s not enough.

Dan’s never been fucked, but he knows he wants to be fucked by Phil. His right arm shoots out to the side, and he’s fumbling in his bedside drawer for the bottle of lube that ordered online and collected from the post before anyone could ask any questions. It feels cool and slippery between his fingers now, and he imagines how good it would feel to cover Phil’s cock. He almost whines when he thinks about the man’s shape and size, especially since it had come up in conversation earlier in the night.

_“I’m happy with it,” he smirked. “I used to think there was something wrong with it because it has, you know, a bit of an upward curve,” he giggled and gestured with his hands. “But, now I think it just might be a good thing.”_

Dan’s breath is uneven and loud, and _fuck,_ he needs to be quiet. Phil was so flirtatious tonight, so openly sexual. It made him feel hot and tingly all over, and the entire situation gave him an ache that he didn’t believe he could hide.

He almost confessed.

His fingers play between his hot cheeks, pushing and prodding to get inside.

_One at a time. Calm the fuck down._

Dan imagines it’s Phil who’s aching to get inside, and not his own fingers, dripping with sweetly-scented lubricant. He pumps his cock a couple of times and takes a deep breath as he looks at the dark ceiling.

_Phil._

* * *

Phil’s never actually fucked anyone, but God how he wants to fuck Dan. He wants to feel him from the inside and be as close as possible. He wants to bury his cock deep and hear the boy moan with every inch he supplies. He wants to see Dan’s beautiful face contort as he finally knows what it feels like to feel so stretched and full.

His hand is moving over his soaking cock so fast that he slips off a few times. He wants to make Dan feel good, he wants to push into his tight body and feel his heat. His legs jerk on top of his doona, and sweat starts to form on his brow. It feels so good to touch, but it would be infinitely better with Dan.

Phil has to know what Dan feels like, what he _sounds_ like. He doesn’t know how much longer he can wait to know these things about him, and the pleasure in his belly is laced with an ache. It actually hurts to want this badly.

_Fuck. Oh, fuck. Dan’s voice is so sexy. He talks a lot. He probably talks a lot during sex too._

He pulls off for a moment, just to make a tighter fist. He wants, more than anything, to get a sense of what it would feel like to fuck Dan. There’s no time for lube, nor is there a need. His cock is dark and heavy and wet. He closes his eyes and thinks of the sexy man who has taken over his everything, the one who has become the center of his universe. With a breath that is caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat, he fucks up into his tight, hot fist.

* * *

Dan’s fingers are so big. His body is eager, too eager.

_Fuck. One at a time._

The first finger feels so good. He holds it inside and pushes it around to feel the heat and pressure of his own insides.

_Phil would want him. Yeah, he would definitely make that face._

Dan wonders, as he pumps his finger slowly in and out, if Phil feels the same way inside. He briefly imagines that it is Phil’s body that he is exploring, and not just his own. His cock gets a few more well-earned strokes from his free hand, both to relieve the persistent ache and to distract him from the feeling of a second finger inside so soon.

He is already on the verge of an orgasm three hours in the making, yet he pushes himself to hold out a little longer. A vibrator would be nice, so nice. It would push him apart more like Phil would. His mind starts to wander, and he’s back inside of their conversation about the superiority of late-night toast. Phil had made a sort of moaning sound and licked his lips. Dan thinks about the sexy sounds Phil probably makes when he’s feeling hot and wants to fuck.

_Shit. Oh, shit._

Two fingers deep and he knows it’s nothing compared to the thickness of Phil. He tightens his muscles around his fingers and imagines he is squeezing Phil, encouraging him to give more, more, _more._ He looks down at himself, naked and spread on top of disheveled sheets on a too-small mattress. He is a right mess, so sweaty and hot. What it would be like to look down and see Phil’s face between his legs, occasionally disappearing behind a shifting curtain of dark black hair.

He wants to see Phil’s pale arm at work between his thighs, his body lurching forward with excitement and anticipation as he pushes his fingers inside to open his body wider. His touch would be so good, so goddamn out of this world.

Dan lets his mouth fall open and his eyes roll back as he nudges his stretched skin with the knuckle of a third finger. It’s still not enough. Of this, he is absolutely sure.

* * *

Phil’s hissing through clenched teeth. He’s never been this worked up in his life. He was right: he’s not going to last long tonight. The swell in his abdomen has spread to his hips and his thighs, and he can feel his orgasm rising up, up, up. His fist is impossibly tight, still not as tight as Dan, but Jesus Christ if he keeps his eyes closed, it just might be close enough.

He sees Dan now, shirtless and sleepy in his bed, blushing wildly at his mention of sex. He remembers the way his voice had gone raspy and weak. He had to have been hard too under those sheets, maybe he was even stroking himself off camera.

Maybe, Phil thinks as his insides begin to roil in the unbelievable heat, maybe Dan is jerking off too. Maybe he is thinking of how it would feel to take his cock in his ass.

_Fuck, maybe he’s shoving his fingers inside and messing his own sheets._

The thought that breaks the levy is so hot that he hardly has time to yank the bedding away from his sweaty body.

He imagines that he’s spilling inside of Dan’s body as hot come streams over his knuckles and falls into the coarse hair that surrounds him. It just keeps coming, and he jerks and twitches each time more rises to the top. He manages to open his eyes to watch the way his cock pulses inside of his hand, so wet and spent. His head falls back, and his hand falls away. He feels as if he is floating in warm water, every ounce of tension having been exorcised from his aching body.

* * *

Dan’s never been very good at holding off, not at his young age. He desperately needs to come, and he would if he would stop entertaining each and every thought that fills his mind. His body is burning, aching for release. He’s been too turned on for too long now, and there is a fine line between the pleasure and the pain. He likes to think that this is how it would be with Phil.

His fingers move wetly in and out of his hot, tight body, but not fast enough – never fast enough. Phil would move faster, Phil would be thicker, Phil would sink deeper.

_Phil would fuck him so good._

His other hand is back at his weeping cock, lifting it from his flushed abdomen. His thumb slips and slides through his slit, and fuck, he’s going to come so hard. His eyes close, and he squeezes them until he can see nothing but blackness. He remembers the way Phil smiled at him earlier, the way he tested the waters. It was so sexy of him to feel Dan out first.

He arches his back and brings his legs upward so he can spread them even wider. Phil’s body would be so warm, so heavy on top of him. Dan can’t imagine the thrill of being so close. His pace quickens, along with his breath, and one final thought has him coming hard across his belly, chest, and chin.

He thinks about what it would feel like to have Phil come inside of his body or maybe all over his body. He imagines that the warm, white liquid that covers his skin belongs to Phil, and he pulls off to glide his palm through it. The fingers in his ass ache with the squeeze, and he draws them out slowly, reluctantly, as though it were actually Phil’s spent cock leaving his body. He drags his slippery fingers along the inside of his thigh and moans softly.

Dan feels so far away, and so close to Phil, despite the fact that he is completely alone.

One day, he decides, as he lays flaccid and warm in the darkness, they will know what it’s like to kiss and touch and make each other feel good. His eyes flutter, and he yawns before his head settles back into the pillow that he pretends is Phil’s chest.

Suddenly, Dan feels completely and utterly alone. He ache is back, but this time, the feeling is higher: it’s in the cavity behind his rib cage. He wonders if Phil is still awake, and if he is, would he answer? He knows he can’t go to sleep like this. He misses Phil, and he needs him in a whole new way.

* * *

Phil feels more alone than ever here in his room, so quiet and still now, so devoid of even his own breath. He aches in an unfamiliar way, but for this ache, there is no relief. As far as he can tell, it could be weeks before he’s brave enough to broach the subject of their meeting. He believes, as he rolls on to his side, that Dan wants to meet him too. Maybe tomorrow he will find a way to slip it in.

His orgasm relaxed him, but that’s already fading. The restlessness has returned. He can’t get comfortable; he wants to see Dan. He wants to hear his voice again, even if there’s little to say at this nonsensical hour. Maybe he just needs to hear Dan’s soft breath as he sleeps. Just as he moves to reach for his phone, it rings.

* * *

“Hey,” Phil smiles softly when he answers. “I was just thinking about you.” He’s said it, and he can’t take it back. It’s just out there now, hanging in this post-orgasm haze. Phil thinks he sees a rosiness rise in Dan’s cheeks. He seems different somehow. It’s only been 30 minutes since they hung up, but Dan is definitely more at ease.

“You were?” Dan chokes out, his voice small and raspy. His belly flips and his legs tense up. He curls in body inward around the pillow and grins.

“Yeah,” Phil admits. “I was just about to ring you actually.” Somehow, Phil knows it’s okay. Dan has called him, after all.

Dan picks at the seam of his pillow and bites his lip. He still feels warm from his orgasm. He’s still wet too. He hadn’t bothered to clean himself up before turning over on to his pillow. “I was thinking of you too.” He looks up, shyly and unsure. Phil’s darkened eyes and warm smile remind him that there is no reason to be timid anymore. “I think about you a lot, Phil.” He waits.

Phil feels a fantastic warmth spread through his body. His heart is beating a bit faster now. His mouth has gone dry, and he wonders if his lips and tongue will cooperate so he can respond. Dan is still looking at him, though his bashfulness has fallen away. Phil brings his phone closer to his face, as if it will bring Dan closer.

“Dan?”

“Yeah?” Dan brings his phone a little closer too; Phil can tell.

“You do something to me.” Phil gives him that grin again, the one that steals the air from Dan’s lungs. “I um, I think I’ve fallen hard for you.” He doesn’t look away; he just shrugs his shoulders as if to surrender. “I can’t pretend like I haven’t. You’re literally all I think about, Dan.”

Dan hears the way Phil holds his breath. It’s kind of adorable to see Phil this way. He didn’t know that ringing Phil up would lead to confessions. He’s trying to process what has just been said, and he has paid no mind to his own facial expressions. He hopes he doesn’t look stupid. He giggles.

Phil’s not sure what this means. Dan’s not laughing at him; he’s sure of this. In fact, his giggle sounds like the sound of sweet relief. Still, Phil hangs on.

“So, it’s like 3:00 am, and I’m a mess…literally.” Dan snorts softly and breathes deeply before getting serious. He can see Phil blush though. Suddenly, he has the urge to pan down to show Phil just how much he’s been on his mind, but he refrains. “I fell for you a long time ago, Phil, but I suppose you know that.”

Phil doesn’t know that, not really. He wants to hear more. He can’t believe that his feelings are being reciprocated. This is all he ever wanted, and with a man like Dan. He pulls the covers around his body and snuggles even closer to his phone.

“I actually didn’t know that,” Phil smiles. He brushes his fingertip across the screen. “You’re into me?”

Dan believes Phil is teasing him. He’s been so obvious, hasn’t he?

“A bit,” Dan winks and laughs. “I’m fucking crazy about you.”

Phil’s body tightens around the pillow that’s been wedged between his legs. He feels giddy and alive. There’s so much he wants to say, yet, all he wants to do is lay with Dan and say nothing at all. He wants, more than anything, to hold him. He wants to hold him in his arms and smell his skin. He wants to feel his lips and taste his warm breath.

“This is crazy,” Phil giggle-whispers into the phone. He’s pulled the doona over his head.

Dan laughs softly. Phil thinks it’s almost as good as an actual hug.

“ _You_ think this is crazy?” Dan asks incredulously. “I’ve fancied you for actual years, Phil. You have no idea.” Dan follows Phil and burrows under his blankets. It feels cozy somehow, as if Phil were laying next to him. He just wants to reach out and touch his face. Instead, he slips his hand under the pillow and presses his fingertips into its “flesh.” It’s supremely disappointing, and he says so.

“I called you back because I don’t think I can sleep without you.” Dan gives a gentle grin. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I got off thinking about you and it felt good, really fucking good actually, but when it was over, I just felt sad and hollow.” Dan swallows tentatively and waits. He nearly can’t look at his screen.

_What on Earth did he just say?_

Phil lets out a long, sexy sigh, more of a groan actually. Dan thinks it sounds beautiful. Maybe he hadn’t just made a terrible mistake.

“Dan, that’s unbelievably hot. Well, the getting off part, but you really felt sad after?” Phil pouts sweetly and sympathetically. Dan nods and buries his chin in the top edge of his pillow. He is feeling red hot again. “So, um, I was maybe doing exactly the same thing.” Phil licks his dry lips and closes his eyes. He scrunches his nose up cutely and continues. “And then the ache came back, but in a different way. Like I missed you more than I had before. I couldn’t get comfortable, I just wanted to hear your voice again. So, when you called, I-“

Dan’s mouth falls open, and he drools into the corner of the pillowcase. _Phil fucking got off too. He had been doing exactly the same thing at exactly the same time._ It’s impossibly hot, and fuck he wants to know more. _And Phil felt the same way afterward too._ He wants to cry with relief. They’re in love with each other, he thinks; there is no other way about it.

“Phil,” Dan whispers, “we have to meet. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Phil agrees. He hopes it will be happening soon. “I want that too. So much. I was literally just thinking about it. Do you want to come here, or?”

Dan can hardly believe they’re talking seriously about their feelings and making plans to meet. Maybe he is asleep and dreaming.

“I want to come see you,” he says, brushing the fallen hair from his forehead. He knows they won’t have much privacy here.

“I would love that. I’m buying your train tickets first thing in the morning.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to.” Phil grins. “Besides, if I buy them, I get to pick when you get here and when you leave.” His eyes start to soften, and he yawns. Dan thinks if he dies in his bed tonight, he will have died a happy man just for this.

“When do you want me to come, and how long do you want me to stay?” Dan snuggles down in his bedding and pulls his pillow closer to his body as if it were Phil’s. He yawns too.

Phil’s cheeks begin to slacken against his pillow. “As soon as possible,” he smiles. “And how long to stay?” Phil opens his eyes just enough to see Dan’s face against his own pillow. “Forever, please.”


End file.
